by Writing Shark
For the greater good
Carrie Wilson helps a visibly battered Emma Jackson out of the restaurant. Speaking in front of people should be easy for a future politician, but Emma Jackson is no ordinary person for the blonde girl. She has a voice, beautiful, a face, delicate and fragile, and a character, strong and brave, and since the moment Carrie confessed she was a lesbian, Emma has been the person she wanted by her side.
The fact that Emma couldn’t accept this is not her fault. Carrie had hidden too well, was too skilled at manipulating the people around her. But no matter how good Carrie was, the world was stronger and Carrie was very, very angry about that. She had found herself a boyfriend, built a ‘normal’ life, and had watched Emma do the same to her life. The greatest fear Carrie had ever felt was that her life would be incompatible with that of her best friend and great love, and that they would inevitably grow apart. The normal response to such fears is anger, and Carrie had felt it too. But Carrie is smart. Carrie is strong. And Carrie Wilson is ruthless.
She quickly realized that someone as petite, fragile, and manipulable as Emma Jackson, with all her strengths and weaknesses, would never respond in the bossy way it takes to lead a man. No, Carrie had taken a different, much more successful path. She had become best friends with the love of her life. Karen, Rachel and even Megan couldn’t hold a candle to her. And the plan had worked. Emma had grown to like Carrie. It had hurt, very, very much hurt, to see Emma dancing through her life, happy, sometimes sad, often nervous and hesitant, not realizing that happiness was right beside her. No, it was unfair to Carrie but she had stayed strong, played for time, waited and prepared. A person like Emma Jackson just had to fall on her beautiful face at some point and come around, realize that men can’t give you what a girl like her and Carrie really need.
And then Finn came along. Finn. Finn Lynchwood with his charming manner, his wide, cheeky grin and the care he took of his sisters. Of course Emma had fallen for him, and of course she had told Carrie how she felt about the boy in her class. At least her waiting had paid off in that regard. Emma trusted her, and that was good. Only unfortunately, she trusted her affection for the boy who was so obviously in love with his sisters. But Emma didn’t care and so, after a long night of crying, Carrie decided to take the matter in hand. Life is hard and brutal and Emma had to learn that. The plan was for her to reveal herself to Finn, for him to reject her, and for Emma to snuggle up to Carrie.
But Finn was Finn, a boy, driven and simple. But as perverted as he was, not even Carrie had guessed his plan. A harem. A fucking harem! Oh Emma, what have you stumbled into this time? But it hadn’t helped. And so Carrie Wilson had to watch Emma enter a world from which there was only one way out: Brutal, hard fighting to the death and by any means necessary. At the lake Carrie had decided to do this and while Finn had put his fucking cock into everything that had a vagina, Carrie had waited, watched, suffered and planned. And that plan is coming to fruition tonight.
It’s horrible, utterly horrible. Emma is suffering. And that makes Carrie suffer too. She never wanted anything to happen to her love, always wanted to be there for her, take care of her and make sure everything would be okay. But so does Carrie. And unfortunately, life is not always about right or wrong, good or bad or black or white. It’s about causing as little suffering as possible, not about creating no suffering at all. That is impossible. Someone will always suffer. For a long time, it was Carrie who suffered. First the years she waited for Emma to blossom, the realization that she was the one for her. Then the time Emma fell in love with Finn, but that jerk didn’t realize it. Then the most disgusting, painful week of her life. But none of this even comes close to the sight that Carrie Wilson now sees.
“Wait. I’ll help you,” she says quietly, helping Emma onto a park bench not far from the fancy restaurant where her plan has unfolded. And so it is, Carrie doesn’t lie. Emma would never think Finn wasn’t good for her. No matter how brutal and demeaning he treated her the first time they met, he and his detestable sister, Emma is still loyal to him. It is the only way to lead Emma into the light and it has taken planning, perseverance and self-control but now Carrie has her where she wants her. Sad, alone and doubting herself. There is no other way and it is for the greater good of Emma. And Carrie.
Slumped her best friend crouches on the park bench, a lantern a little farther on casting long, dirty yellow shadows on them both as the evening cools and prepares the way for the night. And as the night has fallen on Emma, so Carrie wants to be her sunrise. Her friend looks as if she has seen a corpse, the death of her relationship with her lover. And it hurts Carrie. Still…
“It’s not that bad Emma,” she says and puts her hand comfortingly on the other girl’s thigh. Immediately the gesture is accepted and help-seeking fingers close around her hand.
“Yes it is” the young bookworm whines, looking desperately at her friend.
“Just because you want more from Finn than he can give you?” Her voice sounds helpful, her touch tender and gentle. “I mean, that’s normal. Every relationship has to be able to get through that.”
“But because… because he has other… The other girls…” Emma, meanwhile, is already doing the work for Carrie who just needs to herd the distressed girl in the right direction.
“I understand,” she says dejectedly. “If it was just the two of you it wouldn’t be so bad. But the other girls have a right to him too.” Emma nods eagerly, tears running down both her cheeks under her glasses.
“It’s not about me. But I can’t give Finn what he wants from me without destroying his life. I can’t…” The girl slaps her hands in front of her face. “I can only cause him suffering.”
“I’m sure that’s not good for Denise… or Millie…”
“My God Millie!” The sobbing intensifies. “What have I done?” Carrie wraps her arms around the crying girl. “I told her I’d always be there for her.”
“But you can do that.” Tenderly, Carrie runs her thumb over her friend’s cheek. “Listen,” she says, smiling encouragingly. “She can be your little sister, too. All you have to do is marry Finn and…”
“I can’t marry Finn!” A little further on, a couple stops short, but then sees that the crying girl already has the help she needs and is in good hands. “What would Megan say?”
“Well, then… then…” Carrie knows exactly what she’s doing and so it’s hard for her to pretend she’s just as helpless as her friend. “I don’t know… shit, love should be so easy.” Her hand slowly strokes the fabric of the dress Emma is wearing and she feels the warmth her body gives off. “It will be okay. You two love each other, on can see that from space. And when you love each other, you can do each other wrong sometimes.”
“No…” murmurs Emma, and Carrie briefly fears that she has made a mistake. But poor Emma has already stumbled over the ridge and is only keeping herself from falling with one hand. It’s time she realized that someone is waiting for her down there. “Finn won’t do anything bad to me.” Carrie grits her teeth. Has she forgotten the lake already? The crappy boyfriend from the incompetent Maureen? But she says nothing and is rewarded. Emma pushes away from her, but keeps her hands firmly on those of her helpful friend. Her nose is all red, as are her eyes and cheeks. The rest of her is white as death. Carrie catches her breath in her throat. Is it finally time? The moment she has waited years for? The success of the plan she’s been forging since that cursed day at the lake when she stood by the road, scraped knees and staring out across the lake into her future?
“Emma…”
“It’s me Carrie” recognizes the tormented victim. “It’s me…my God…yes, he’s good for me…” Again she sobs and sniffles hard. “But I will only cause him work and grief as long as I am so selfish. I can’t change…” Again she breaks down, crying for a few minutes at her best friend’s side. “I make him unhappy with my own unhappiness. I… I don’t fit into his world, into his harem.”
“You’re too strong for that Emma,” says Carrie biting her tongue. She has belittled the other girls but Emma doesn’t notice. She hyperventilates, her heart racing, her nostrils flaring and her eyes darting around looking… and finding Carrie.
“I want to make him happy…I have to break up with him…to make him happy…”
This is it. Carrie nailed it. Emma is at rock bottom, lonely and lost, sad, shocked. And Carrie is happy. She hates herself for it. But she knows happiness is coming now. She wants to kiss Emma, sweet, cute, helpless Emma. The woman of her dreams. She wants to save her, marry her, adopt children and live a happy life with her. Carrie has made it. Calm down Miss Wilson, she calls herself to order.
“No Emma! You can’t!” The feelings are real as Carrie throws herself at Emma, throwing her arms around the trembling girl in the beautiful dress. Just that the one girl doesn’t think the other girl could have any feelings other than the ones she’s presenting to her. By now she is so convinced that she can help Finn that she doesn’t even realize that it plays right into the hands of Carrie. But she is also devilishly good with her words. “I can see you’re happy with someone who cares about you. You just want love in your life and no one should withhold that from you. Not even you.” She snuggles tightly against her friend and she presses herself against Carrie in the cool evening air in the yellow cone of light from the lantern, seeking help.
“I have to help him…”
“Yes you do! But not by breaking up with him dammit!” Carrie cups her counterpart’s cheeks with her palms. Her skin is warm and moist. “You can’t just walk out of his life and leave him behind.”
“But if I stay, he suffers… and Millie… and then he suffers even more… and I… and he… Fuck! Fucking Fuck! Fucking shit what have I done?” Again Emma breaks down crying and Carrie holds her. Tears run down her face too, from joy, but also from sadness. Seeing Emma like this hurts a lot.
“Listen Emma mouse. One thing is clear. I’m always here for you.” Emma nods shyly, her cheek brushing the bosom of her only hope that night. “We’ve been friends for so long, we have a common bond. And yes, you’ve only been with Finn a short time, okay. It’s good to see that you’re so sure he’s the one for you.” She takes a deep breath but Emma doesn’t notice. “And it’s a good sign that you know you’re not right for him.” This is a bit too much for Emma and she lifts her head from her helper’s chest. This is the last chance for Emma to break out now but Carrie is just too good. “But that doesn’t mean you know how not to cause Finn pain. I know that.”
“Why?” Emma doesn’t understand, helplessly dependent on Carrie.
“You know how I feel about him and the whole harem thing. For a long time I wanted to see him unhappy. I’m sorry for that Emma. And ever since I saw what he meant to you I’ve kept my hands off any revenge fantasies.” She’s not lying. Not really. She never wants to lie to Emma. But then, they’re not fantasies anymore.
“What do you want me to do Carrie? Help me. Please.”
“You can’t just walk away from Finn,” Carrie says immediately. She has been preparing for this sentence for a long time. “Yes, it’s fine and okay for you to leave, as long as you’re sure it’s the right thing to do.” And Emma nods. Tearful and delirious with despair. “But you’ll hurt your lover too if you just let yourself fall. Me and him know you’re too strong for that.” Emma shakes her head, violently, as planned.
“No, I’m not strong. I just want to be with him.” This hurts Carrie deeply and gives her the strength she needs to keep going. It’s not revenge, it’s not a sacrifice. Suffering is necessary to prevent greater suffering.
“Okay, some girls are weak too. That’s okay. But you’re strong enough to know how to do good for Finn.”
“No I’m not” Emma sobs. “I’m stupid and weak and useless. I need someone to guide me. I need Finn!”
“You need someone to lead you, I get it. I figured as much.”
“I’m helpless without him. And that makes him broken. Useless, selfish and helpless. Fuck Emma!”
“Hey!” Carrie grips tightly, shaking her friend with determination. “Don’t say things like that! You hear me? Never!” The other one’s glasses nearly fall off her head and her hair gets even more messed up than it already is. “Finn doesn’t allow that! And I certainly won’t let him hear you talk about yourself like that.”
“O-Okay…” Emma seems to be completely disintegrated by now, just a pile of broken pieces. Now Carrie just has to put them back together.
“Enough of this, all right?” Emma nods, almost eagerly. “We’re going to have fun today, and I have one more thing planned for us.”
“Carrie…I…”
“Don’t argue Emma,” the other girl says firmly but kindly. “You’ll figure out how to solve the Finn Lynchwood problem without hurting him or Millie. To do that, you just need to have a clear mind, relaxed bones, and a friend by your side you can always count on.” Emma looks at Carrie for a long moment and finally wipes her face awkwardly with the back of her hand. Quickly and planned, Carrie reaches into her purse and pulls out a tissue. She wants so badly to say more to Emma, but knows it would ruin everything. At the lake, she used the wrong strategy, being vain and assertive. Now she is like Finn, does everything to bind Emma to her, to possess her. They are very similar, the two opponents. Except Carrie is better at the game.
“I already have one of those friends by my side,” Emma mutters dejectedly, forcing a dainty smile onto her face.
“Thanks, honey.” The two girls hug, then dry their shared tears and hail a cab for the last part of the plan.
During the ride, the two don’t talk much and the cab driver wonders a bit about the mood in the car. One girl seems devastated, but accepts the other girl’s touches. He smells the alcohol, which is not as strong as with other guests he drives from one disco to the next. But a disco is not the goal of the blonde girl tonight, who takes care of the brown-haired girl in a touching way. First the cab driver thinks that the girl with the glasses is worried about her boyfriend, this also happens more often. But the way the two behave they are surely a couple, nothing new in today’s world. But the brown-haired girl sometimes mumbles something about a Finn, the cab driver is confused. But analyzing his passengers, however sexy they may look, is not his job. When the blonde girl helps the other out of the car, the matter is quite clear and somehow the cab driver is glad that the two are lesbians. Otherwise he would have to make a comment in the hope that one of the girls would laugh.
“Where are we?” Emma wants to know outside while Carrie hands the money to the cab driver. Emma has never been to this part of town.
“Only the best for you and me” Carrie laughs at her and hugs her from behind. Over her shoulder, she shows Emma where the two are going next.
“Mindy Chan?” asks Emma when she sees the glowing red neon sign. “Should I know her?”
“That’s one of my friends,” Carrie replies with a laugh.
“I thought I knew all your friends,” Emma wonders, so much so that she almost forgets her awkward situation. Carrie looks down a little ashamed.
“I’ve known Mindy since…well, since I knew I was a lesbian.” Emma is too drunk and needs a bit to understand the context.
“You mean Mindy is a…”
“What? No!” Now Carrie looks hurt. “Mindy’s not a hooker! What do you think of me?” Of course Mindy isn’t a hooker, Carrie would never lower her to the point of even talking to one of those bimbos. What Emma doesn’t need to know yet is that Mindy Chen is the owner of a massage parlor… and also a lesbian. A life like the one Carrie Wilson leads is hard, exhausting and frustrating. In Mindy she has found someone who shares her experiences and to whom she can go when the pressure gets too much. Her boyfriend doesn’t know about Mindy, no one does, and Carrie sees it as a vote of confidence that she lets Emma in on her big secret…as much as that takes.
“E-excuse me…I thought…” Emma shakes her head and looks at Carrie hurt. “I’m sorry, please don’t be mad at me.” One more disappointment and Emma would crumble to dust and ashes on the spot. But Carrie is there for her and hugs her again.
“It’s okay Emma-mouse. I’m not mad at you.” Mindy is a friend who helps me when I’m too lonely.”
“With…no, it’s okay.” Emma shakes her head.
“With massages Emma.” Carrie grabs her friend’s hand and pulls her toward the building. “Nothing relaxes like Mindy’s fingers.” She winks at her friend and Emma actually has to laugh. Mindy is really good with her fingers, and her tongue too. But tonight… “Tonight I hired her to round out your day perfectly. Okay, and mine too.”
“And I broke everything…” mumbles Emma softly.
“Shut up girlfriend” laughs Carrie as they cross the door. Emma doesn’t notice. A young Asian woman is waiting for them.
“Finally,” she says, coming up to Carrie and giving her a hug. “What took you guys so long?”
“We had some girlfriend business to take care of” Carrie just says with a shrug and Emma looks at the clock on the wall. Almost one in the morning! She doesn’t dare think about Finn.
“Mindy stayed up extra late because of us,” Carrie explains, not mentioning the three hours of sex she had with the pretty girl. Mindy was the one who held Carrie, often, while she mourned Emma. She knows about Finn and thinks Carrie is just helping Emma find her inner lesbian, something Mindy can relate to. Carrie has told her that Emma, like her, is stuck in a hopeless relationship and that she just wants to show her friend a different way. So Mindy takes a semi-knowing part in Miss Jackson’s downfall. While it’s a shame to lose someone like Carrie with her deft tongue, everyone has the right to happiness and Mindy, satisfied after sex, is happy to help Carrie with her harmless plan.
“Which one of you do you want me to pleasure tonight?” she asks as she leads her two clients into a room painted white and pink. Soft music echoes, candles flicker, rose petals are scattered across the two white couches and the towels in one corner smell of lilies so that Emma doesn’t mind the teasing.
“My best friend Emma,” Carrie beams, ushering the addressed into the room. Emma, befuddled by the alcohol and the fear that the grief might return, willingly lets Carrie lead her to a corner with a bench.
“Wait, I’ll help you,” Mindy says, assisting Carrie in first sitting Emma down and then taking off her dress.
“What…” mumbles Emma, looking at the two of them. “What are you doing?”
“Trust me honey,” Carrie flutters. “You’re way too tense for anything naughty.” Emma exhales in relief. “We’ll have to work that out.”
“Thanks,” the girl says without really understanding the second sentence. Mindy agrees with everything as long as both parties give their okay, that’s what she told Carrie and that’s what she was promised. So she just smiles kindly and puts down the white dress on the bench together with the one of Carrie.
“W-where can I change?” Emma wants to know as Carrie takes off her glasses and laughs softly at her sight in underwear.
“Emma honey, why so formal? We know each other, don’t we?” She continues talking before her friend could get the stupid idea that Finn might be important. “You trust me and I’m telling you it’s okay.” Mindy looks briefly at Carrie. She’s not drunk and notices the undertone in her customer’s voice. But she trusts her, too, and prefers to go ahead and prepare the massage oil. “Here,” Carrie then says. “I’ll get you started.”
“Okay…” murmurs Emma as her friend pulls down her white bra. Yes, Carrie is disgusted that Emma likes cock, especially the one of Finn, but she also sees with satisfaction that he hasn’t killed the repressed lesbian in her great love. Emma looks shyly at her round breasts and hard nipples while Carrie pretends not to notice and pulls down her panties.
“We know each other, don’t we? And trust me, it’s better without clothes. Mindy knows what she’s doing.”
“Oh…” mumbles Emma as she sees the arrow of clean-shaven blonde pubic hair pointing out from between her legs.
“I like to show people the ropes” laughs Carrie, taking the lead. “Come on.” She claps her hands and Emma, still fixated on her friend’s pubic, doesn’t think about the consequences and slips off her bra and panties. Actually, she’d rather be massaged in her underwear but doesn’t dare to say so. If she starts arguing now, who knows, maybe Carry will leave her alone and stranded. And that would be the end of her. Carrie has seen Emma naked several times. She, Emma and her friends are all pretty girls who don’t need to be ashamed of their bodies. And with a girl like Karen in the group of friends, you often see each other naked while bathing or in the changing room of the shopping mall. But this time it’s different. That night Carrie Wilson will sleep with Emma Jackson and that excites Carrie. With a satisfied grin, she swings her handsome ass onto the soft white leather of a lounger and Emma obediently follows her.
The two girls get the full treatment and even Emma relaxes a bit. Mindy calls in her best measure and Carrie looks on contentedly while Emma turns into pudding under Mindy’s deft hands. While the other employee remains quiet, perhaps a little upset that she has to work so late, Mindy and Carrie talk calmly and soon Emma joins in the girl talk of her own accord. Not only does it do Emma good, but Carrie is pleased to see how the bookworm even lets herself be drawn to a laugh and relaxes. And so, as the warm, soft and deft hands glide over her back and lower legs, Carrie occasionally squints at Emma. Her target has her eyes closed, a blissful smile on her lips as Mindy works her over. Her friend looks to Carrie, nods at the other’s lap and winks. She’s wet! She gets wet when a woman touches her! Carrie tenses a bit with excitement, but then calls herself to calm down. It takes a few long minutes of massaging the feet of the two girls, then Mindy helps Carrie with the last part.
Satisfied, Carrie realizes that Emma is now too distracted to be ashamed that another stranger sees her naked. Carrie also knows about her friend’s exhibitionist desires, which she would rather suppress for her own good, but now likes to exploit. As deft hands glide over the two naked bodies, rubbing warm, smooth oil into their skin, Carrie looks over at her friend.
“How are you feeling?” she asks kindly in an angelic, soft voice.
“Good…” breathes Emma, and Carrie lets her. “Better. Actually, I shouldn’t… but…”
“We’re allowed to feel good Emma. Finn would want that. He wishes that for you.”
“Yeah.” Emma laughs befuddled. She is exhausted and drunk. She’s scared and fearful for Finn. It’s all too much and she enjoys taking refuge in the comforting touch of Mindy and the familiar voice of Carrie. “He’s too good for me.”
“Do you still think you have to leave him to spare him suffering?” A leading question but Emma already fell too far.
“He doesn’t deserve it” the girl whispers and Mindy has to concentrate to be quiet. “He’s so good to me and the others. It would destroy him to have to take care of only me.”
“He still has his sisters Emma,” Carrie says now. True, she’s helping the drunken girl not to reveal her regrettable secret to Mindy, even though a dive between her thighs would surely buy her silence. But from this night on, Carrie won’t be lonely anymore. She will have a girlfriend. Her boyfriend will understand the breakup. And Emma will be happy, finally. And so will Carrie. That’s why she keeps going. “Once you break up with him he’ll understand. He’s not alone.” A tear trickles down the cheek of Emma as Mindy’s fingers slide over her belly, spreading oil on her skin. Her nipples are stiff.
“But he doesn’t want me to suffer. He’ll tear up as soon as I’m in mourning.” Carrie begins to tremble and the woman massaging her looks at her with concern. But the trembling comes from a different source. Carrie is so close and she also gets wet between her thighs. Yes, the massage is pleasant and she likes the touch of another woman, but it is Emma who makes her shiver. So close, almost done. Just one last thing.
“Then you have to find a way not to suffer.” Mindy looks at Carrie out of the corner of her eye but even she has come too far to turn back now. “Find something that makes you happy Emma, then Finn will be able to let you go.” Emma moans out and lifts her belly toward Mindy’s hands. Then she sags back down. Carrie doesn’t know Emma well enough to tell what she’s feeling physically but she’s a sufficient judge of character to know what’s going on in that beautiful head of hers. Under a layer of forced and sometimes welcome pleasure, sadness and shame, under that layer Emma agrees with Carrie. “You can only make him happy if you make yourself happy Emma. Find something… Find someone who makes you happy.”
“Yeah…” just breathes Emma.
The session went on for another half hour and by now it’s close to two in the morning. The woman who massaged Carrie quickly disappeared after the end but Mindy stayed to lead the two girls outside. Emma is unrecognizable. She is laughing and boisterous, but swaying even more than before. In a slightly fading voice, she has loudly announced that she has to go to the little girls’ room again, and Carrie and Mindy are waiting for her in the anteroom. In a good mood, Carrie watches her friend – her love interest – disappear into the restroom. She is overjoyed to see Emma like this. You’ll be like this every day once we’re together. Starting tomorrow morning, you’re a different person. Then she looks at Mindy and her overjoyed grin softens a bit.
“What?” she asks innocently but knows exactly what’s happening.
“What is this Carrie?” asks Mindy seriously, crossing her arms in front of her chest. Carrie just stares at her. She doesn’t want to let her triumph be spoiled. “This girl seems happy with her boyfriend.” Carrie snorts.
“Didn’t you hear what she said? How unhappy she is?” Mindy shakes her head. She recognizes the politician in Carrie.
“What she says and what she does are two different things honey. Not everyone is as unhappy with their boyfriend as you are. Maybe Emma is not ready to…”
“Are you telling me you’re better qualified to judge how shefeels? We’ve known each other forever!”
“I’m just saying I know you, Carrie. I know how lonely you are. But you can’t force people to be happy.”
“But you can drag them down the path and make them see the truth!” angrily nags Carrie Wilson.
“Hey,” The voice of Emma rings out from behind them. “You okay?” Mindy is about to say something, but then calls herself to order. Carrie is a customer, a good one, and she’s licking like a goddess, and Emma doesn’t seem like she’s unhappy with her. Maybe Carrie is right, after all.
“Yeah, it’s okay honey” the blonde girl laughs and Emma reaches out on her own. They grasp hands and Carrie throws two hundred dollar bills on the counter. Without giving Mindy another glance, she hurries outside with her loot before anything can go wrong.
“What was going on in there?” asks Emma without letting go of the hand.
“Can you believe it? She said your boobs looked funny!” snorts Carrie, afraid Emma might see through the trick. But the poor girl doesn’t, instead falling right back into the role she held before her friend. She pulls her free arm over her white, not-so-tight-fitting dress.
“Yeah? Oh…”
“Oh come on!” snorts Carrie. “She doesn’t have a clue. Mindy is probably just jealous. Your boobs look fantastic!”
“Thanks,” her friend breathes, lowering her hand and hiding her face under her hair while Carrie calls for one last cab with her free arm. As the car pulls up – a woman at the wheel this time – Emma turns to Carrie. “What do we do now?” she asks, nibbling her lower lip.
“Now…” She looks at her watch “At two in the morning, the evening will be over.” Carrie looks almost sadder than Emma, who pouts. The two girls sit down in the cab and Carrie puts her hand on her friend’s leg as a matter of course, this time a little higher than before. And as a matter of course, Emma takes her hand in hers. “Listen honey, I’m sorry the evening went the way it did,” Carrie says, telling part of the truth. “I was hoping it would go better. I’m really sorry. For everything.” Emma doesn’t know that means her soon-to-be crimes, too. The poor girl has lost her way too far, fallen too far, become too desperate to turn back. The tragedy is that Carrie doesn’t even have to do anything to steer Emma now. She loves Finn, and as much as Carrie hates it, she has found a way to turn love into energy that she can direct. Desperation is the catalyst and fear is the driving gas that now sends Emma spiraling downward into the saving arms of her best friend.
“I don’t want to go home yet,” she whispers, looking at Carrie.
“But in your condition, you need to go to bed Emma. You have hard decisions to make and you need to be alone to do it.”
“I don’t want to be alone! He doesn’t want me to be alone!”
“Should we go to him?”
“No!” Carrie smiles happily but Emma doesn’t notice. “No…” Say it. Say it! SAY IT! “Can we…get to you?” Carrie leans forward to the driver and gives her address.
“Thanks.” It’s not the first time Emma has thanked Carrie as she helps her friend out of her things. Carrie has already made sure her boyfriend – knowing he won’t have sex with her tonight – is spending the night at a friend’s house. The two girls are alone in the large apartment and Emma looks incredibly cute in the shirt Carrie picked out for her.
“No problem. Sorry this shirt smells so much like me but I didn’t get to wash it.” A lie but the lies stop from the moment Emma is in her arms, a wedding ring around her finger and happy and content.
“And thanks for letting me sleep on the couch.”
“Are you crazy?” laughs Carrie as she swings the varnish over the comfortable sofa. “That’s for me. You sleep on the bed.” Emma wides her eyes.
“What, I can’t do that!”
“Don’t argue,” Carrie commands. She likes watching Emma become docile. She understands that Finn enjoys the power he has over his girlfriend. Emma is a person who wants to be led, and apparently, Finn is the only one who hasn’t figured out that it takes more time than he wants to give Emma. Carrie is too blinded to properly assess her nemesis, but even if she did, it wouldn’t change anything. Emma belongs with her, not Finn. “So, done,” she finally says, looking at the bed. Emma does the same, swaying a little on her legs. Her socks slip across the slippery floor and Carrie already fears she might fall. Her hands close tightly around the other girl’s body. “I’ll take you to the bathroom.”
Together the two girls brush their teeth, laughing and teasing each other, and Carrie doesn’t mind seeing remnants of toothpaste running down the chin of Emma who looks so cute when she’s drunk and helpless, and from her looks, Carrie can tell the girl wants help. And Carrie is there.
“Put that down,” she says, taking the glasses off her head. “Now off to bed.” But Emma doesn’t move, and her heart pounds heavily in her chest. Her friend stands in front of Carrie in her underwear and shirt, playing with her fingers like a helpless little child. It makes Carrie sick that Finn has already seen this wonderful sight, but at least tonight is the last night Finn can call Emma Jackson his girlfriend.
“Carrie?” murmurs Emma. Oh god yes! “Can we stay up a little longer?”
“It’s already late Emma. Let’s go to bed.”
“Yeah…okay…” God she’s cute. Emma needs a strong hand, stronger than Finn. Carrie turns to leave, circles the sofa and takes Emma by the hand. She leads her into the bedroom. Soon her boyfriend will be gone from this room, her life. And then Carrie Wilson feels the tug on her wrist. Emma stands in front of the door and looks at the floor.
“Please…” she whispers, “Please help me.” And Carrie comes to her. She wraps her friend in her arms, hugging her tightly while Emma sobs again. That she couldn’t hold back the monster in her life for long was clear to Carrie, she was counting on it.
“I’ll do anything for you Emma. Tell me what to do.” And Emma hugs her friend tightly.
“Stay with me,” she whispers, “Please stay with me.” Carrie leads her best friend back to the sofa and sits down next to her.
“Do you want me to sleep by your side tonight?” she asks, having to control her breathing. She’s so in love with Emma, was before Finn, she’s sure. She deserves to finally feel love in her life too. Emma nods quietly at the question and Carrie puts the girl next to her on the couch. As if by magic, her great love snuggles up to her and Carrie only has to wrap her arms around her and spread the blanket over them. For a long time nothing happens and the two girls just lie next to each other while the warmth of their bodies permeates the other and makes them feel the closeness to each other. Carrie waits patiently, caressing Emma and moving often enough that the girl doesn’t fall asleep. But she doesn’t have to, because her plan has created a perfidious situation in which the thoughts in her head are clear and calm to Emma, yet disintegrate everything that binds the girl to her friend.
“I’m here for you.” With that, Carrie tears down the last wall.
“I leave all my problems to Finn,” his ex-girlfriend begins in a clear, soft voice. “That’s the way we both want it. I belong to him. Body, mind and soul. The day before yesterday, we babysat my brother together.” She exhales through her nose in disbelief. “It was so easy for him. What I spent years working on, he solved in one evening. Now I get along great with William. And I can’t give him anything in return. Yes, he wants my body. But what does he want with my mind and soul? He’s so smart. He solves every problem. And everybody loves him. He saves Megan in just one night and he helps Maureen in the process, not to mention Karen. And he’s all I want. That’s fruitful.” Emma analyzes clearly, shattering her own foundation, and doesn’t realize it. She’s over grief and fear by now, and Carrie has caused her to be glad to finally leave Finn. “I’m too selfish for him.”
“You’re not selfish,” Carrie whispers, smelling the girl’s hair. “Hey. Turn around.” Emma obeys and the two lie face to face, their feet touching. “If this is how you feel then you need to do something about it. For Finn.” Emma looks at her trusted friend for a long moment. Even under the influence of alcohol, her mind is clearer than other people’s, and at first Carrie was afraid, now she’s glad. “You need to take Finn out of the equation so you can help him.” She giggles and that in turn makes Emma chuckle. “You need to think about yourself for once. I know how hard that is for you.”
“You’re right. I have to take care of my happiness on my own.” Emma furrows her eyebrows. “I can’t let my weaknesses weigh Finn down.” Carrie nods in satisfaction.
“I’m sure he’d be proud of you if he saw you now.”
“He doesn’t deserve my fear. I want him to be happy and he needs to know that I am too…for him.” Carrie frowns as well. Emma is just too innocent and too naive to take the next step.
“But how are you going to do that?” For once only, Carrie may allow herself to cross her own line. Surely Finn has done the same. After all, this is about Emma and any means are justified. Who asks how you reached a goal when you cross the finish line? “How are you going to show him that you have what he gives you?” Now she’s done it a second time but Emma is worth it. And it’s working. Emma thinks, annihilating herself with her thoughts.
“What Finn gives me…” she murmurs, her eyes leaving the other one’s face. “I need someone to give me what he gives me…” Carrie holds her breath, clenching her teeth painfully, her heart pounding self-destructively and her neck aching with excitement but her encouraging, curious smile never dies. And then it happens, Emma crosses the border. “I’d need a friend…” Carrie says nothing, waits. “But who…There is no one…My teachers…no, they can’t give me what Finn…only with Megan…no…that wouldn’t…Without sex with Millie and Denise…no…” It’s unbelievable. Emma is already thinking about women and Carrie can’t believe her luck. “Someone strong…protective…intelligent…” That Emma is second-guessing herself must not matter to Carrie, and it does. She’s right on target. And then it happens. Emma looks Carrie in the eye, realization and surprise. “Carrie?” Just a whisper.
“Yes?” Just a whisper.
“Finn trusts you.” A definiteness. A nod in response. “You’re smart and beautiful.” Carrie doesn’t answer. “You’re always there for me, even when I was…distracted.” A nod.
“Always. You’re incredibly important to me…best friend.”
“Best friend…” Briefly, their eyes wander to the side, then Emma finds Carrie again and her expression has changed. “You love me, right?” She smiles, hopeful. Now it’s Carrie who has a tear rolling down her cheek.
“Yes…” she sobs, “All my life now. I love you so much Emma Jackson.” Emma places her hand on her best friend’s cheek.
“I’ve treated you so badly. Never realized how you felt about me.” Her fingers begin to caress Carrie and the politician can no longer hold back. She is finally at the destination of her dreams, has achieved what she always wanted. She caresses the hand of Emma and she returns the gesture, placing her hand over the one of Carrie. The two girls look into each other’s eyes. “You helped me with Finn…were always there for me when I needed you.”
“Yeah…” More tears, now Emma is crying too. The two girls look at each other from moist eyes.
Emma is drunk from alcohol. Emma is tired from the long day. Emma is horny from the massage. But most of all, Emma is lonely now that she knows she can’t give Finn what he deserves. But Carrie helped, as she always does. And Emma is happy about it. But still… She feels ashamed that she didn’t see Carrie as the answer to her problems. She was so focused on Finn that she didn’t see how much she was hurting him, and she neglected Carrie in the process. But they are there for Emma. They both love her and Emma… She knows how she feels about Finn. And she’s ashamed. She’s ashamed that she took advantage of him like that. She’s ashamed that she took advantage of Carrie. And she’s ashamed that she’s so lucky to have two such wonderful people in her life. And Emma is afraid. She knows she took advantage of Finn and now she’s going to do the same to Carrie. Does her best friend know? And if so, does she care? No one else is there for Emma in this difficult hour…only Carrie Wilson.
“I’m a bad friend to you…” whispers Emma, happy with her unhappiness, unhappy with her happiness. Confused and grateful. At her destination, yet aimless. But Carrie is there.
“You are the friend I wish for, Emma. I love you and I want to be with you.” Is it that simple, Emma Jackson wonders? Can it be that simple? Can it? But she doesn’t have the answer, Carrie does. “And that’s all it takes. I’m not pushing you.”
“You are what I need Carrie,” Emma whispers with conviction. And she is happy. She moves closer to Carrie, strokes her hair. It’s not about being happy. She’s happy when Finn is happy. He’s happy when she’s happy. And Carrie is happy when she’s happy.
“I’m so lucky with you and…”
“No Emma, we’re lucky with you. You’re so perfect for me.” Carrie hugs Emma, getting closer and closer to her. The tips of their noses touch, their hands rest on their bodies. Carrie runs her hands over her friend’s hips, feels the warm has under her shirt against her fingers. The breathingof Emma quickens, shallows. Her eyes dart back and forth between the eyes of her girlfriend. “I love you Emma, and I want to be here for you. I want to help you be happy, no matter what it takes.” That’s not a lie.
“Carrie, I…” But Carrie puts a finger to her lips and Emma closes her eyes and smiles.
“You don’t have to say anything honey. I’m so happy right now. I’m not going to make you do anything.” Emma opens her eyes.
“I like making you happy.” Carrie laughs happily, her tears slowly drying but she rubs her thighs together. She’s so wet, so moist, so horny. And Emma does the same to her.
“You’re the only thing in life that matters to me Emma.” Carrie moans. She’s finally at her destination and can let herself go. Her fingers run over her beloved’s lips, rubbing her nose against hers. Just one last push in the right direction. Nothing can stop her now. Finally she can show weakness and desire to the person she has always loved. It’s perfect. The smell of Emma rises to her nose. “I don’t care about anyone else Emma. My boyfriend, my family, the world, it doesn’t matter. I just want you.” Carrie purses her lips, closes her eyes and pulls Emma close to her. “We’re meant to be together, and nothing can change that.”
And Emma finally realizes the truth she had closed her eyes to for so long.
Writing Shark 