by Writing Shark
Wanting the wolf
“Damn,” Riley grumbles, stuffing her mouth with the casserole they’re serving for lunch in the school’s large cafeteria. With a fixed gaze, the girl looks around the room that seems to vibrate with laughing and happy girls. Her friend Isabella watches the disgruntled girl as she pokes at her noodles with her fork and understands all too well how Riley must feel. She and Isabella thought their group was complete and inseparable with Sarah, but since the weekend it is no longer so. Even the presence of Stefanie can’t comfort the two girls who can’t understand what happened to her friend. Since she had to leave class with Amelia to be reprimanded by Professor Clark, they are no longer the same, not to mention that Sarah had already changed before. But now the whole thing has reached new dimensions, especially since the two former rivals behave quite differently than one would expect after a telling off from the professor.
Sarah and Amelia can be seen everywhere as just the two of them. They giggle and laugh a lot, put their heads together and seem to be completely in their own world. From one day to the next, Amelia has adapted to Sarah’s behavior and the two of them now come to class so late that they often scurry through the door just before the professor, giggling and holding their hands over their mouths. The teacher seems to tolerate all this, and Riley is pleased that Sarah at least seems to have a better relationship with Miss Combton than she did shortly after the man’s arrival at the school. But neither Riley nor Isabella are helped by the fact that the student and the teacher get along better, especially since the two class representatives disappear immediately after class without looking back at their former friends.
Riley is also surprised that Amelia seems to follow Sarah. She is often seen whispering with her colleague, and Sarah takes her new friend by the hand and leads her out of the room, where Amelia always blushes slightly. Then, sometimes, it is she who grabs Sarah, whispers something in her ear and disappears with her. The two seem to be overjoyed, but Riley is annoyed at being stood up by her friend, and Isabella is not doing well either. Stefanie tries her best to fill the gap but the Russian girl is just too shy and inexperienced to take Sarah’s place. But no matter how often the two friends want to talk to her, Sarah is always short-tempered and with her head somewhere else and always breaks off the conversation quickly to meet with Amelia. This has been going on for three days now and the week is only half over. But there’s another problem that spoils Riley’s appetite, and she drops down on the bench next to her, Isabella and Stefanie with a happy grin.
“Bon appétit!” exclaims Cecilia Langdorn cheerfully, cracking her knuckles. The girl’s bubbly nature usually puts her in a good mood, nothing seems to be able to dampen the spirits of the student, who has a burning interest in all art forms where one can let loose.
“Bon appetit” Stefanie murmurs softly and smiles faintly while Cecilia’s teeth seem to bathe the room in bright light. Isabella joins in the greeting as well, only Riley remains silent.
“Hey.” Cecilia ‘Ceci’ Langdon nudges Riley rudely in the ribs to get her attention, placing her expensive SLR camera on the table beside her. “What’s wrong with my new roommate?” She grins cheekily while Riley grumpily rubs her side. This is the worst part about being away from Sarah. Not only does her former friend seem to have lost all interest in her and Isabella and her task Stefanie, but Riley had to change rooms. Cecilia was Amelia’s previous roommate, but for some reason two days ago Professor Clark stood in her room, all of them were silent and submissive as usual, and announced there would be a change in room occupancy. Behind him stood Amelia and Sarah, grinning contentedly, with the second class president’s belongings. As much as Riley had wanted to, she hadn’t been able to muster up the courage to say a word against the professor and had packed up her things without a sound. As her teacher led her down the hall, the girl had turned to her friend, but she had disappeared into her room with Amelia, giggling wildly and slamming the door behind her. And so it comes that Riley now has no appetite and stares sourly at her new roommate who is checking the pictures on her camera and shoveling noodles down her throat. The day couldn’t get any worse for Riley, soon the next class session with the professor begins, but of course right after that she sees the two now inseparable friends, giggling happily as always, bouncing to the food line. Angrily, Riley drops her fork into the untouched food.
“Let it go,” Isabella murmurs softly, knowing exactly what’s bothering her friend. “The professor has his reasons.” Riley’s eyes break. She’s strong, but even she understands that there are things she can’t fight. Instead, she now directs her anger at the shy girl.
“Oh yeah?” she hisses, upset. “And which ones?”
“We don’t need to know,” Stefanie whispers without looking up. “It’s the same with my father…” she says nothing more.
“I don’t care” Riley pouts and turns back to Isabella. “And besides, why don’t you do something about the fact that we lost our friend? Aren’t you mad at all about the way she’s treating us?” Her anger has to go somewhere if not to the professor.
“Yes… no, well… yes… a little bit.” Isabella is not good with conflict.
“Then don’t make stupid remarks like that, but do something yourself instead of criticizing me.” That was too harsh, even for Riley. But everyone is shocked when Isabella says nothing at first, but then jams her fork into her food, stands up and walks over to the two girls’ table without turning around. Riley watches in disbelief as Isabella stands in front of the table. The new friends interrupt their animated whispered conversation and look up at the girl as if seeing her for the first time in their lives. The three are too far away for Riley to understand what they are saying, but Isabella twirls the hem of her skirt with cramped fingers as her lips move as she speaks. Sarah and Amelia return the conversation in turn, then look at each other and put their heads together again. Spellbound, Riley watches as the girls confer, almost a minute, with Isabella appearing very restless. Finally, Sarah nods and pulls her down next to her on the bench, laughing. Across the room, Riley realizes how puzzled Isabella is, then her heart nearly breaks as the two girls laughingly welcome the new arrival into their group, acting like nothing ever happened.
“Shit,” Cecilia mutters next to Riley as she sees what’s happening. “I wasn’t expecting that.” Ceci has always been a bit defiant with her words but still she puts a comforting hand on Riley’s icy shoulder. Stefanie, who Sarah was supposed to be taking care of, also looks crestfallen but that’s nothing compared to how Miss Kirkland feels.
Meanwhile it’s Friday again, half the day has passed and again Riley doesn’t like the food. Meanwhile, Cecilia has taken Sarah’s seat, a silent admission that the girl will not be coming back. Again, Riley looks with a bleeding heart at the table where her two friends now sit together with Amelia. She and Sarah continue their jittery, relaxed demeanor, and even Isabella grins now and then, but otherwise stares out the window, lost in thought. Riley feels like crying. What on earth has happened?
The answer to her desperate questions comes a few seconds later in the large, noisy dining hall warmed by the sun. As soon as Professor John Clark enters the hall, the temperature drops a few decimal points, the volume drops a decibel or two, and even the walls seem to tighten around the many girls as he crosses the room. Around him, stares lower, conversations falter and food remains untouched. The only faces that beam at him belong to Amelia and Sarah who can’t take their eyes off the man… but also Isabella occasionally peeks in his direction and hides her hands under the table. The whole room is watching the teacher as he goes to the girls, but as soon as he comes to the table, all the students, whether in his class or not, take their eyes off him. Slowly life comes back into the big room while the teacher is talking to the students.
“Wow…” Cecilia just mumbles and shakes her head. She too is not strong enough to resist Mister Clark, but at least strong enough to admire him. “We’re really lucky he’s teaching us.”
“Why?” growls Riley, who in the last few days has become a secret enemy of the man who took away her two most important friends, the only people in her life who were always there for her. The fact that she doesn’t dare to do anything about it almost tears her apart inside.
“Do you think anyone else could prepare us for the world better than him?” Cecilia is almost devout with admiration. “He told me he was interested in my hobbies,” she says.
“He talked to you?” asks Stefanie in surprise, unable to hide the envy in her voice. Cecilia beams all over her face.
“Why, yes. He spoke to me yesterday during the break and said he was also interested in photography and producing films. He called it art, which I thought was great.” Stefanie shakes her head in disbelief.
“I wish he would pay that kind of attention to me…” She falls silent and looks down. “One can still dream, after all.” Cecilia comforts the girl as she did Riley. She tries her best to fill the gap left by the other two girls, which Stefanie gladly accepts, but is too little for Riley. Then things get even worse.
“Professor Clark even said I could help him with one of his projects if I could keep a secret.” Now it is enough. Stefanie squeals in fright as she bangs her fist on the table so loudly that several girls turn to look at her at once. Riley, however, only has eyes for one person in the room and when Professor Clark meets her gaze she stands her ground. It’s hard, she staggers and blinks, but manages not to lower her eyes. Under the astonished looks of her friends, Mister Clark rises and comes across the room towards Riley. Silence falls again as the man stands in front of the girls’ table.
“Is something wrong Riley?” John asks kindly and even smiles while the addressed girl can only look at him defiantly. Thoughts race around in her head but she doesn’t dare to say them. “Are you having a fight with your friends?”
“No…” she presses the words between her teeth. “They…” But she can’t make it any further. An angry tear runs down her cheek but she quickly wipes it away.
“Come with me.” The professor waves his head. “We’ll settle this now.” He grins in a way that makes Stefanie go small and Cecilia’s mouth drop open. “So you can get something in your mouth again.”
The professor’s office is empty. More and more often the girls notice that Miss Combton is not with him. John doesn’t have to say anything, Riley already stands obediently in front of his desk but her knuckles are white, so hard she presses her fists together. Serenely, the professor sinks into his chair.
“So Riley, what’s the problem? You may speak frankly.” That she is relieved to be allowed only makes the girl angrier.
“My…” She has to shake herself to continue. “My friends.”
“It must be hard when friends turn their backs on you” muses the professor.
“You did this!” the girl exclaims, her heart beating with all its might in her chest.
“Me?” The professor laughs.
“Yes! You took them away from me!” Riley is beside herself with anger, fear and sadness but Professor John is calm. He nods his head slightly.
“I understand,” he says calmly. “You blame me for you not fitting into the group anymore.”
“In the group…” Riley falters. Can it be true? Or is the professor lying? Would he be lying? If so, it would be the first time. And the first time he would be wrong… “I fit in with the group,” is all she can say.
“You don’t.” His voice is ice cold again and Riley already freezes out of habit. Mister John shakes his head in amusement as if he needs to explain something for the umpteenth time. “You thought you and your friends would be connected by something solid, but you were wrong.”
“No…”
“Yes you were. I’ve been watching you for a long time. Your grades are excellent, like those of all the little angels at Hayworth. Always just a little below those of Sarah and Isabella. But it’s you who keeps them together. With your charm, your way of going through life, your openness and your humor.” Now the grin is devilish. “Anyway, that’s how it was. I really feel bad for you Riley. Of the girls I’ve met here, you were the closest to being a healthy role model for the others. That’s why I waited until you were ready.”
“Until I was…ready…” Riley can barely process what has been said but her teacher, mentor, the one who is supposed to prepare her for the world, just keep going.
“You made the mistake of associating with the two of them over your grades. Someone like you finds friends easily in this environment. The girls are easily manipulated.”
“Manipulated…”
“But you picked those two because they were helping you get ahead in your grades and gave them something they wanted in return. But I’m giving them that now Riley. And I do it better. That’s why your friends dropped you.” The teacher rises from his chair again. “Grades don’t matter here anymore Riley and Sarah, Amelia and Isabella have found something that really bonds them as friends.” Another tear trickles down Riley’s cheek which she wipes away again. Hoping Mister Clark would be wrong about her or anything else was stupid. Just as stupid as thinking the bond with her friends was real and not an alliance of convenience. And now that she’s finally getting it right, with the professor’s help, she’s alone. Her lower lip trembles in anger and sadness and now she can’t face the man who comes around his table, toward her. He puts his big strong hands on her shoulders and Riley almost goes to her knees under the weight.
“Professor…” She doesn’t know what to say.
“I’ve been thinking about how to get you for a long time” muses the man whose body fills her entire field of vision without being concerned about the impact of his words. “I thought it was the notes.” Riley just shakes her head. “But I think we both know what you really need in life.” A small part of her realizes how she’s being manipulated but the overwhelming rest of her carelessly brushes aside the only thoughts that serve to protect her. Riley knows John Clark is dangerous, he’s taken her friends away from her, but… “Say it. Admit it to yourself. Tell me what you want.” And Riley clings to John, hugging him, clawing into his thin jacket and pressing her cheek against his body.
“I want my friends back. I don’t want to be alone.” Then she begins to sob.
“You didn’t lose your girlfriends” the professor comforts her and puts his hand on her head, pressing her closer. “And it’s not your fault either.”
“Really?” Hope comes over Riley, blinding her, but even so she wouldn’t have seen the professor’s grin.
“Sarah and Isabella are now connected by something stronger than grades and the thought of conquering the future. They are content with the life they live now, they have no more pressure and at the same time, they have arrived in a new world that they can explore without fear. Is that what you want?” Riley nods into the man’s embrace. “But if I show you what they have, there’s no going back, Riley. Then your life changes forever.” The girl pulls back a little from the man. His hug felt good and she realizes she has missed having someone to lean on when she gets stuck by herself.
“Is that what you asked Isabella?” The professor grins and Riley recognizes something like pride in his gaze.
“Isabella was led into the group by Sarah, not me.” He’s really proud. “But she also found what she was looking for here.”
“And what was that?”
“Helping her to help herself. Self-determination. Fun, power, self-confidence.” He shrugs. “Everything a girl your age could want.”
“I want that, too.” The teacher gives her a long, stern look but Riley looks back into his cold eyes. Then he nods, sits back down behind his desk, and beckons the ruffled girl to join him.
Writing Shark 